Names and Faces

"This is ---, the graduate student from ---. The one who you forgot the name every single time."

Says the latest post on my facebook wall. Unfortunately, he's not the only one whose name I forget all the time. I think I have abnormally low face recognition skills. Even with close friends of mine, I've had lapses in memory when they make a change -- shave their mustache, dye their hair. After the change, I just fail to register him/her.. my eyes just pass over and I don't even stop and wonder whether I might know the "stranger." Sometimes there are people I see around the dorms every day, and maybe several weeks (months?) later, I'll realize that so-and-so's face is actually the same person as such-and-such before he shaved his head/did any other change. As you can see from the above comment, though, this problem doesn't just happen with changes. It's that somehow the original face wasn't imbedded too clearly in my memory to begin with.

You know how some people say they have a hard time with names and other say they have a hard time with faces? Well, if you have a hard time with faces, how can you have an easy time with names? I don't remember a face, and therefore no matter how hard I try, I won't remember the name of a faceless face.

As you can see, this great dilemma might lead to hilarious stories as well as very embarrassing ones. I'll tell one just because I'm in the mood for storytelling:

I met (made-up names) Adam and Bob one day as they are watching TV in the commons. We get to talking and Adam somehow gets around to talking about how he has weird toes.. and I will confirm they were in fact very weird. So after this encounter, I forget both names and faces of both Adam and Bob, and only remember that I met someone with weird toes and his friend watching TV in the commons.

Several weeks (months?) later, a random person (Bob) comes up to me and says "hey I always say hi to you when you pass by, and you always give me this WEIRD look like 'do I know you?'"

"Well, do I know you?"

He replies, "Remember that evening in the commons, I was with my friend..."

"Oh!! Are you the guy with weird toes?"

"No... that was my friend."

"Oh. Sorry. I promise I won't look at you weird next time."

A few days later, Bob says hi... and I make my do-i-know-you face. Damn it. I caught myself in the act. So I say hi and "sorry I forgot! But now I've figured it out." Unfortunately, I think I remembered him only as "the random guy who says hi so i shouldn't make a face" person.

A few weeks after that, I'm hanging out with my friend Stacy, and Bob walks by. Unfortunately, this time for some reason he decides not to say hi right off the bat, therefore not triggering my automatic Bob-response. Stacy says "hey! have you met my friend Bob?"

... I extend my hand. "Hi, I'm Diane."

Bob just looks at me and says "Yes, we've met.. remember that evening in the commons when my friend and i were watching..."

"Oh!! Are you the guy with weird toes??"

I wonder if he wanted to scream yet. I'm sorry Bob.